Friends, new, old acquaintances....

Over a lifetime, we meet and are blessed to have friends that are here for us always.
Friends that become family, some are from work relationships, others just transpire, from attending a Moms & Tots group.

From when we first draw a breath, the one true friend is our Mothers.  We open our eyes, and other than a funny faced doctor and some nurses, our first warm embrace is our parents, be it a father or mother.  Or one who has just adopted you.

Relationships such as these, would last a lifetime.  At least for most of us.  Then we have neighbors, and other friends we meet through daycare, and early school years.  Some end up staying for life.
We move onto Secondary, and add more to our collage.  Again, some stay with us from childhood, and some you just meet by chance.

We begin in the adulthood portion of life, and start in the work world.  Making many more.  How truly blessed we are.  If you stop and think, over a lifetime, of how many people you met or kept in your life, it could be quite astounding.  But most of us wonder though, it's not the quantity of friends you have, its the quality of them.  Ones you can count on through thick and through thin.

People shouldn't and don't run, when you need them the most.  Persons you have always been there for, but yet, can't count on when the going gets tough.  But is it because they hate confrontation, or to tell you something you do not want to hear.  Sometimes a friend needs to tell you , what you don't want to hear to help you out.  To see you through dark times.

And then there's the ones we call FAKE friends.  The one's that always seem to perfect, yet deep down inside, they have their own skeletons to deal with.  A friend that is envious of you and all you have and do, and yet, you don't see the other side of them.  Friends can be many things, but for the most part , we reap what we sew.  So never lie to someone who trusts you, and never trust someone who lies to you.  One thing my Mom taught me at an early age.  Growing up in a large family, we had our share of friends, people, strangers we invited to our home for holidays, celebrations and other events.  It never ceased to amaze me, why after opening your home and heart to them, why people would leave and have bad things to say about you, or disgrace and disrespect you.

My dear late Father once said, the most evil of all that God gave us, was the human tongue.. And he was so right.  We are not perfect as humans, for sure. But be true to yourself and the people you love.
Many of my best friends are men actually, because I was hurt so many times from, lets use the phrase, female friends. and/or girlfriends.  Growing up in a family of men, aka all brothers, I found them to be true to heart.  They always were there for me, and made even good friends with some of their friends.  It's historically correct, that politicians lie, and great leaders, and even to themselves, and people that run against each other for positions, but were once friends.

So what obsesses us to do this evil thing sometimes.  Are life's struggles that hard, that we alienate people we love.  The human race has been known for that.  But truly a friendship should  never be lost over stupid things, and people should not be cruel enough to belittle someone.  Whether it be a Mother and Daughters friendship.  A father and son.  Brother to Brother, sister to sister, sister to brother, or friend to friend.  It is not any different, whether we are family through blood, or family through marriage, or friendships that are decades long.  Be there for people.  Take the time to talk.  Especially when one is struggling.  Put your pride aside and make good of something and be there.

Love it when you haven't spoken to friends in weeks, months, not a daily basis, and you hook up and find time, what a greater feeling, when you pickup where you left off.
That meet and greet and sharing a hot cup of cocoa and catching up just about anything.  Be it work, the kids, a latest trip you took, whichever, just make the time.

Sometimes life can be like a hamster on a wheel, and it just slips away from us.  Friendships shouldn't.  So reach out and touch someone.  Don't make excuses and lies, just be there for people.  After working in acute mental health for awhile, you see the loneliness in patients eyes because of the lack of having people around to truly listen to them.  Its amazing what they tell you, and whats on their minds.  A friend can be a stranger per say.  There is a homeless lady that sits by the hospital, day and day out... and we know much of her.... but you know what she says, even when people walk by her and don't give her money, God Bless you have a good day my friends.  So some days I just talk to her, she knows , and just wants to know that life hasn't beaten her down, and just a short conversation, can raise her spirits.  I'll bring her baked goods or coffee, and she is so thankful.  She is a friend in the sense that I can make her day good, and she mine too, because I hope and pray I never have to be that wonderful woman on the street begging.  I go home and am thankful for what I have and who I have in my life.  Friendship can mean so many things. 

True friends are one that you can enjoy a quiet drive, and not share much in ways of conversation.  Go shopping with, and separate in the mall, and meet up again.  Having a quiet breakie or lunch or dinner, and not really talk about much, but just being there.  So "just be there" why is it so difficult for us.

Lasting "work" friendships are amazing to have.  You can not talk for sometime, but catch up over a hot cup of coffee.  Takes a lifetime to keep a long friendship, but only moments to lighten one's heart back up.

Then there's the friendships that overtime, have died.  Just for stupid reasons, or something so unforgiving, that we couldn't put it aside.  But why, we have to ask ourselves.  What was it, that we couldn't forgive.  Some say, we are good at forgiving, but cannot forget.  That's true in a sense.  I've known this to be true, time and time again.  But honestly, we an do better for ourselves.  Don't lie to yourself or others.  If it's gone, it's best to be true to that, and not continue a FAKE friendship.  We probably have experienced those along our lifelines also.

If you can't be real to one's face, then don't be fake to it.  Not behind their backs, or in front.  Don't go to church on Sunday's and sit in a pew and praise and sing the word of God, and then do ill doings all week long, and wrong to people and expect redemption.  Friends forever.  A famous phrase that should be with us always.

Keep your true friends close to heart.  Don't have to practice the old "keep your friends close, and your enemies even closer"... we truly shouldn't have any.  Well, maybe some Presidents, or politicians we don't like, but do good by all.  Some just don't know any better.

Then there's the ones who died on us.  The one's we can't forget.  They remain in our thoughts and hearts for a lifetime it seems.  I lost a brother.  And to this day, to what I believe, were once friends, that became Foe's... if that is truly possible.  Fake and cruel friend.
But you know what see's you through, is faith, love and respect.  And an undying love.  A love that will never perish.  Death of a friendship, should ever only mean when one leaves this world, and has passed on.  Having to lose friends because of any other reason, should not happen to us.
We know and accept that we have some control over this, and some we don't unfortunately.

It's like the Serenity prayer., we  can control some things, but we want the wisdom and strength to see through what we can't.   When we lose friends, because of their passing, we acknowledge in our hearts and pray that one day we will meet again, depending on our beliefs.   We share memories, and photographs of happier times when our friendships were in full bloom.   When we couldn't imagine our lives without each other.  Married couples for example, for the most part, are best friends, and the thought of losing each other is always such a sad feeling.  But we pray and keep our relationships strong, and that we have and live a happy, long life. 

Like Peter Pan, and the lost boys of Neverland, men tend to bond in a way different from us women.  They seem to be able to keep their "buds" for a long time.  So why is that ?  Well , they don't sweat the small stuff, or worry about who's wearing what, and who can afford to shop at certain stores, etc.  It's a known fact, that us women are more critical of each other, and our sex.  So let's not judge.  Always been in my blogs.... Let's be there for everyone.  Through thick and through thin.  Not just when life is convenient for you.  JUST DO IT.... an amazing line.   Call a friend be there for everyone.  The lasting feeling is like euphoria.  Take care, and be well "my friends"... thanks for reading my blogs, i'm truly blessed.   Love you all Miss "B"... comments are welcome.